Living in a fat suit

Do you ever feel like you're living in a fat suit?? I do.

I was sending Rach a text with my new phone (that happens to be a mirror as well.. ugh) and realized I look nothing like me. I mean, gaining weight doesn't happen overnight, but I'm like woah.. I am huge. When did this happen??

I was looking back at pictures when I was 30lbs lighter and I was still big. What the hell was I thinking gaining all of this weight? I know a lot of it has to do with the depression I went through after the surrogacy/adoption, but still.. no excuse. It's been over a year. It needs to stop.

I gained a LOT of weight with my first daughter.. a little with my second.. a little with my third.. and quite a bit with the last (surro) baby. So, that's four pregnancies. I didn't lose hardly any weight after any of them. Seriously, who has time to exercise when they just had a baby? I don't get it. I ate when I could, I slept when I could, and that's about it.

So, anyway, I'm sick of living in the fat suit. I have tried to lose weight by diet and exercise but I just haven't made much progress. At the end of last year, I lost 15lbs. I've gained most of it back. I know I have thyroid issues and it can cause weight gain, but with no insurance I can't go to the doctor and get it fixed. So, I have to fix it myself. I ordered some diet pills (save the lectures), and I am going to see how they work. I've never really tried diet pills before because I've always thought the best way was with healthy food and exercise. Starting in March, our gym membership will open up again (we had to freeze it due to finances) so I know that will help lose some of the weight. The pills will just give me a jump start. I'll post before and after pictures AFTER I have some after pictures. :)

I was going to post some pictures of the new laptop case we made, but I don't have any on this computer. I will post a tutorial later. :) Currently, I'm working on knitted wash cloths for Valentine's Day baskets. They will have a washcloth, some hand-made soaps, and maybe a few pieces of chocolate wrapped up. I'll be sure to post pictures when they're finished!