Big Changes

So I will probably be all over the place on this post, as I'm a bit upset, but I'm hoping to make some sort of sense. :) I have not had much feedback on recent posts so I'm not sure if I should continue blogging. I like blogging, but sometimes it's discouraging when you leave comments for others and don't get them back.. and I have not been able to return comments as much as I should. I've also seen a lot of good blogs turn into giveaway blogs. While I love winning things, I feel disconnected from those blogs.. it's just weird for me. No idea which direction this blog will be going in. I don't want to give it up.

I just got an email from Erin, the woman I thought I was going to be a surrogate for. After lowering my comp, and playing the waiting game for/with her, she emailed me and said she can't proceed with the surrogacy. After Rachel getting upset and not wanting me to be a surro, after talking Rach into it and getting her on board, after everything... she can't do it. I realize there's a plan and reason for everything, but this pretty much ruins my chances of ever being a surro again, because Rach is going to freak out when I tell her that yet another IP backed out. :/ Heartbreaking, in so many ways.

On a lighter note, I finished my first 5k this weekend. My mom and I did it together, it was a "Sweat for the Vets". This coming weekend we are doing the Breast Cancer Walk in St. Louis. There are supposed to be over 60,000 participants! Rach and I are doing this one together. It will be ... interesting. :)

I lost 5.3lbs last week. I'm hoping I can lose a few more this week. Now that the surrogacy isn't going to happen, maybe I should just focus on getting my body back. I just really wanted to be a surrogate again. :( So I don't know what to do next... *sigh*